Sometimes We Just Need That One Friend…

It was the day before I was scheduled to have my hysterectomy and I was FREAKING out already when I got the email: my ex-BFF asked if it would be alright if she came to see me while I was in the hospital. I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t want to be rude and tell her to piss off, but at the same time the end of our friendship literally drove me into therapy. Actual, pay somebody to listen to me talk, therapy. To complicate matters further, my husband works with her – like sits right next to her and has to interact with her daily. So, I didn’t want to make things any messier for him than they already were. Unfortunately for me, in the time we had been in Oklahoma, she had become my one and only friend (I put all my eggs in one basket). I later learned that manipulators like her can spot people like me a mile away and smoothly ease into the folds of our lives, which she did. But that’s a whole different blog post for another day.

So anyway, I didn’t know how to respond to her email and feeling quite alone, I started day-drinking some wine (which is NEVER a good idea for me because not only am I a light-weight, but alcohol frequently gives me hives), sucked up my pride and went over to a fellow military wife’s house to ask for advice. At this time she was just an acquaintance – someone whose kids played with my kids. Who I knew I had a few things in common with, but who I also had never had a real, “deep” conversation with. But I was desperate, so off I went…

I sat there and told her the long, sometimes embarrassing story of the beginning and ending of my friendship with my “friend,” the almost ending of my marriage, and how it was bothering me to be losing my chance to be a mother again (although I knew we weren’t have more children – strange, I know). Through it all, she just listened – offered supportive words here and there, but mostly just listened. And it was while sitting at this woman’s kitchen bar that I realized how nice it was to have someone to just talk to (that wasn’t obligated to listen) and how much I missed having a friend. She has since become my closest confidant in Oklahoma, a real friend that I know I can call upon if needed. I hope that in the time since that November day, I have reciprocated that feeling of friendship for her.


3 thoughts on “Sometimes We Just Need That One Friend…

  1. You make my heart smile with such a touching post. Wow. You are awesome. Friends are definitely a hard thing to make the older we get and let me just say …that day you sat at my Island, I too was as thankful to have you, I will never forget the amount of judgement and bullcrap we both put behind us just to have a real moment. And to me, my friend, that’s where a great foundation was started. You have been so good to me and my children and it’s so nice to have a friend that truly gets me. Someone who will literally drop what she is doing to rescue me. You are irreplaceable. You are a better friend than I to you. Big hugs- oh and our husbands like each other too- this kind of stuff just doesn’t happen. Big hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my heart, my amazing, beautiful friend! Hugs to you. I’m so glad you found that person who was able to lift you when you needed it the most!


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